my iNFatuation___

Sunday, July 29, 2007

my com expired. i dunno how the hell its possibly but i cannot gain access to the stupid computer.

i have lost all desire to blog

will update in a while with pics

9:48 PM

by sha sha

Friday, July 13, 2007

a few days bak i saw an old freind. we werent close or anything. just the occasional hello or goodbye followed by a quick smile. nevertheless it was nice to see a familiar face. i was in the car as he walked pass behind. he looked much older, since it has been 4 years since i've seen him but

he looked good, taller and all. haha. he was always the nice guy too. i turned to say hi. just then, i realized that even after all the years in primary school together he might not even remember my name. no idea who the hell was wavin at him. so i put my hand down and sat bak in my chair.

dumbfounded i just kept thinkinng how sad it is that i lost alot of friendships on the way. n may
hav no chance to change that fact.

still, i wont forget all these people. although i hav made no difference in their lives, they have touched mine, n i will forever remain a friend

n for the old frend i saw, i wish u all the best. ^^ god knows wat form 4's lik

12:02 AM

by sha sha

Monday, July 9, 2007

i think i drafted 6 posts. i cant make up my mind wat to write about = =

so ill go with this thought

is it wrong to want more?

i know im not a happy person. i mean i generally appreciate everything i hav n i know i hav it better than alot of people.

i try to but i know im not truly happy. with myself, with my life. with practically everything. im just not genuinely contented with the way things are right now.

where do u draw the line between wat makes sense and wats just plain greedy? if im not good enough, i try to b better. but where do i stop and say, 'ok, tats all i need right now'. its just so frustrating.

eg, i wanna go out right, n if u know me, u know theres a very small chance of tat happening. when i complain, im labeled as ungrateful. but seriously, im NOT ok. i know my parents let me do alot of stuff at home. i wan more freedom, n for tat m i greedy?

lately stuff has been going a little better i guess. but i still cant help feeling tat everytime something good happens, something else comes out short, or just not right, not how i planned it. sometimes u just get a feeling when somethings just not right, right?

i cant remember the last i was really really truly wholly pleased.

im afraid of losing the people i love; friends and family. i dont want things to get worse, i dont want to b distant...
but then again i may hav already pushed some people away.

11:48 PM

by sha sha

Sunday, July 8, 2007

my saturday was kinda full. its 12.30 now but i m thoroughly exhausted.

still, its fun. makes me feel more alive somehow.

anyway i went school for a while, had fun ^^ mingling. then went leisure mall from 11.30 to about 2.30? walking alone in my count me in t-shirt. yes, i got a few glances. i was suppose to watch a movie at 11 but... some stuff happened n i couldn't n i really dun wanna talk about it

its just frustrating tat sometimes u cant rely on some people.

well, i met chen yee n pang for a while, then their pacy people came n i went to popular where i read a really interesting book on fast food :D:D then headed to starbucks 4 wonderful wonderful doughnut.

im really shortenin everything i did bcoz it is getting boring

anyway, cy arrived n we campaigned in our shirts for a while before feeling really ridiculous. she changed :)

we met up wif shannon in popular n ran around abit. cher was in cc i think.
then met khung fwu [who can sew- lik omg]
bernard,
shaun-however u spell it,
n the talkative eugene.
shu sim n lian yan came later.

the crowd at the theater was crazy! it was lik people never saw a movie before or something. they were practically over flowing the place = =

so, anyway

transfomers was...

AWESOME

WAHAHA..hehe i know i know i dam lame ok ^^

after tat walked around abit before going kopitiam for mums bday

7.7.07.....yea chun bday ^^

it was very very boring there, really n i was faling asleep everywhere. went bak home n had to entertain tis little girl for a while.

n now im doin tis

i m gonna go bath now n SLEEP

....only to wake up early tomoro...sigh

not in a particularly good mood. people suck sometimes. especially nice people :(

Labels: outing

12:27 AM

by sha sha

Wednesday, July 4, 2007

people judge too harshly. people who think they know but have no idea.

1. sometimes it sucks to b me, it sucks to hav my skin. yes, people judge u based on ur race. how surprising is tat = =

is it soooo impossible to believe tat HE starts everything. tat he does all the omg stuff. must I always b the one tat gets the finger pointing? why the hell is it sooo hard for people to understand tat i wan a FREND = = i dont lik him. get it anot??

guys lik tat, only lik a certain shade of skin. im not stupid, i get it.

__

2. one reason y im pissed is how some people dont talk to me or even try to engage in conversation BUT made up their mind on wat i m. period.

well, wake up. people CHANGE ok? they dont stay the same. 6 months is a long time n no i dun tell u everything coz bloody hell its my life n its not lik u giv a dam anyway rite? AND u dun tell me everything now do u? so y shud i do the same.

i know ur not a bad person. just dun potray people if u dont know wat ur talking about.
it just plain stupid n annoying

im not even bloggin properly. god knows my grammer is shit = =

how nice would it b to name names.. but alas i aint tat evil. still, some of u most likely already know.

Labels: people, pissed

7:11 PM

by sha sha

Monday, July 2, 2007

u wanna know, okay, ill tell u y

if i was hungry, would u get me my favourite food?

if i stayed up, would u talk to me all night?

if i did something wrong, would u stand by me unconditionally?

if i wanted the biggest toy at the fair, would u win it for me?
ok i know theres no fairs here, but u get the point

if i was sitting alone, would u accompany me the whole way?

if i wanted to b left alone, would u still persist to sit beside me?

if i were sick, would u worry?

if i were sad, would u b sad too?

if i needed a shoulder to cry on, would u be there?

no. u wouldnt
n tats y u dont love me

n y i can never love u

10:04 PM

by sha sha

Sunday, July 1, 2007

this is a sign that i m eating too much

i hav an ulcer..
..on the under side of my tongue

oh.my.god = =

the pain... the throbbing pain. i hate ulcers. n yesterday i ate sooo much n the back right side of my jaw was in SERIOUS pain = = but i ate anyway ^^ hehe

i mean who can resist the one and only four ringgit sugar-covered starbucks doughnut thats so warm n fluffy u just wanna swallow it whole...ahhhh so satisfying

11:50 PM

by sha sha

tis post is wholly therapeutical
i hav no intention to actually do all the things written down. note the constant usage of would...
im just tired n i feel lik rambling about things tat sound nice n plus, i dun mind spending everyday lik it ^^

if i were to walk aimlessly in the pouring rain, u would come with an umbrella n a smile. offering wat i cannot refuse.

u would walk me home, holding my hand and never letting go.

u would stay until i felt okay, n we would talk about all the insignificant things tat pass us by. make me laugh n all the problems would just fade away.

when we sleep, ill wear ur oh so comfortable baggy shirt n u would play with my hair.

if i were cold u would hold me in your warm embrace. n i would snuggle against your chest n hear your heart beat softly in my ear.

I'd wake up earlier n watch u sleep. how the sheets outline your body as u breathe. how even as u sleep, u remind me of all things good.

n when u would wake up, i would smile.

kiss u soft n slow. n hope tat tat moment would last forever.

Labels: wat could hav been

12:11 AM

by sha sha

hi ^^
im 16, love to watch tv, eat n enjoy sleeping. i hav uncontrolable hair but i love it all the same.
im weird but among my frends i m indeed sane. im a complete ass to my sis, i cant help it
oni talk to ppl i know :D hehe...most ppl scare me

InTerests

food ^^ some say im picky but if i really lik somethin, ill eat it all day :)
LEE HOM, i buy anythin wif his face on it, well almost everything
i m a good student, yes i m. but form 4's an ass so i dun do my hw :)
tv...i like cartoons lik spongebob n lazy town :D dam interesting. other shows i lik r incredibly random, too lazy to write them down
BlacK is my favvv colour ^^
i lik coconut...gonna make a point to eat it more

desires

new com la...vista not nice oso :(
a tv
a new pair of pants :D
jay chao's album......maybe even rain
to go buffet... wahahaha
watch movies i missed since last year ^^
meet lee hom = =, ok fine...watch his new movie :D
a new fossil watch...hopefully digital :)

Use the hearts to navigate ^^

1. My posts
2. Random stuff
3. Links
4. Tagboard

hey...welcome to my blog, feel free to move around. i write whenever i lik meaning i might not update for weeks or update trice a day :D n im kinda lazy so u can expect wat will happen.

so the title of tis thing is DESTINY but honestly i just choose it lik really fast n mostly coz its black ^^ but the eagle thing is pretty cool la

my infatuation. an agreeable rapture. seemingly inevitable. I fade away, adrift in his presense. craving our idle banter although to him, im expendable. to love him is to be punished with no certainty of escape.

anyway..tqz 4 visiting, come bak again k? hehe bye bye